literature

oh well

Deviation Actions

blasphemous-preist's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

you can't take it when I go my own way
the determination set in my face
the cigarette hanging out of my mouth
to see how far apart we have grown
rips your your heart in two
all the wrong things i have done
all those things you never told me not to do

but you don't know that i don't care
I think it might need more substance. I am open to suggestions.
© 2008 - 2024 blasphemous-preist
Comments2
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Zoe1975's avatar
This sort of reminds me of my relationship with my mom.

Normally I greatly prefer proper capitalization, but in this one I think it's a great way to show the absence of emotion. You pulled it off quite well.

And I agree, it would be nice if it was built on a bit more, but then again the length reflects the indifference as well so it could stay this way. :shrug: